Chapter Seven — Reasons That May Justify Leaving (2 of 2)

If the path exists and has been used, you are in a church that can be corrected, even if it is slow. If it exists only on paper, or not at all, that is a serious thing to weigh.

A Catholic or Orthodox reader will add something. What the Church has defined as faith is not open to that kind of correction. The conduct of her bishops and priests always is, and the path for that runs through the bishop and those above him. This question is about conduct.

When you are called elsewhere. Some believers leave a church not because anything is wrong with it, but because God is sending them somewhere: to plant a church, to serve in a mission, to strengthen a struggling congregation, to go where there is no church at all.

At Antioch the Holy Spirit said to the church at worship, "Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them," and after they had fasted and prayed, the church laid hands on them and sent them off (Acts 13:2–3, NET).

This is a good reason to go. A church that loves its members should be glad to send them.

What has to be true: a call is tested, not assumed. "Do not extinguish the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt. But examine all things; hold fast to what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:19–21, NET.)

That testing is not a proof. It is a way of receiving humbly what you believe has been given.

Ask whether the people who know you best confirm it. Ask whether it is a call to somewhere or only a wish to be away from here. Ask your pastor or priest to pray with you about it.

A real call can bear being tested. A church that sends you with its blessing has given you a gift.

When you move, or life changes. A move across the country, a new job, a marriage into a family of another tradition: these are the most common reasons people change churches.

They need no defense. The only questions are how to leave well and where to go next, and Chapter Ten takes up both.

When the household cannot be fed or kept safe. A parent's first duty is to the children God gave him. If a church cannot teach your children the faith, or cannot be trusted to keep them safe, that is a real reason.

So is a church that has no place for someone in your household, because of a disability or for another reason. So is a church where your spouse cannot worship in good conscience.

What has to be true: if the question is safety, nothing has to be asked first. Go to Chapter Two.

If the question is teaching, or room for your household, ask first. Many churches will make room when asked. If they will not, or cannot, a parent is not being disloyal to seek a place where his whole household can be fed.

When a church has put something else at its center. Some churches drift from the gospel without ever denying it on paper.

Their center becomes something else: a political cause, a single issue, a personality, a building campaign, a set of rules heavier than Christ's yoke.

Jesus said of the religious leaders of His day: "They tie up heavy loads, hard to carry, and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing even to lift a finger to move them." (Matthew 23:4, NET.)

Where a church makes loyalty to a party, a cause or a leader the real test of fellowship, it has set a second thing beside Christ. A believer may weigh that seriously.

What has to be true: be careful here, because this reason is easy to borrow.

A church that preaches on a moral question, and comes down where you do not, has not necessarily put that question at its center. A church that disagrees with your politics has not necessarily made politics its gospel.

Ask what is preached most Sundays. Ask whether people who differ are welcome. Ask whether the cross is still the center of the worship. Then be honest about what you hear.

The test is the same for every cause, whichever side it is on.

Parting without condemnation. Scripture records one parting that has comforted many believers who had to go.

Paul and Barnabas had worked together for years. They disagreed about whether to take John Mark on their next journey:

"They had a sharp disagreement, so that they parted company. Barnabas took along Mark and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and set out, commended to the grace of the Lord by the brothers and sisters."

— Acts 15:39–40 (NET)

Luke does not say who was right. Both men went on serving.

And years later Paul wrote from prison: "Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is a great help to me in ministry" (2 Timothy 4:11, NET).

The parting was real. So was the trust in Mark that came back later.

Paul and Barnabas were partners in ministry, not a member and a church, so the likeness is loose. But it shows what a parting can look like.

It is done in the open. It does not make the other side the sinner. It leaves room for trust to come back. And both go on serving the same Lord.